Grief is something I’ve observed very closely over the last few months. It’s one of those things you will never truly understand until you have experienced it. As most of you know, unfortunately I lost my father a few months ago. Now that I was on the receiving end of the condolence messages, it made me understand things in a different way. I realised the small mistakes I made in the past with the one’s who were grieving at the time as I just didn’t get it back then. So today I’m sharing the 3 most important things I learnt about grieving and hope it helps you understand it better as well.
Be Considerate: Most people are confused about what to say or do when they visit someone for condolence. As a result, they end up saying the most cringe-worthy things. Trust me, it is better to stay quiet rather than say something you might regret later. Instead, why not share a happy memory you have of the lost one that will make the family smile? It doesn’t always have to be tear-shedding stories. Focus on the happy memories.
Don’t be too inquisitive: Yes, we are all curious by nature and want to know all the details about what, when, where and how. But please give it time before your curiosity can be put to rest. Grieving is an over-whelmingly personal experience. Going through the same event over and over again can be mentally exhausting for those grieving.
Be Supportive: Grieving involves good days and terrible days. You can be having a perfectly normal day and all of a sudden something triggers and grief hits you when you least expect it. It’s the worst feeling in the world. While it is good to be strong, it is equally important to address your emotions when you hit that all-time low. Please don’t push the person concerned to snap out of this mood immediately, but instead offer them your emotional support on such days. Your attitude plays an important role in how they bounce back the following day.
When you experience the loss of a loved one then you understand the pain someone else goes through and stay by their side. Therefore, if you are someone who is also experiencing grief, then rest assured I’m always here for you if you ever need to talk. Repeat after me, it’s going to be ok …
Until the next post, “I’ll try to keep it Strictly Lighthearted!“
Strictly lighthearted 
I am so sorry for your loss………… I lost my Dad in 1996. He would have been 90 next month.
Mum missed him terribly and when we were together, we’d talk about him a lot. She joined him in January last year. I miss them both, but they are still with me, in memories, photographs, music and a million other little things.
I agree with your points, especially about keeping quiet.
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Thank you! I remember the stories you shared with me about your parents when I wrote the post about my father passing away. They were beautiful! No matter how old we are, the loss of a parent is heart-breaking. I hope you’re well.
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Indeed, thank you. It was good to see a post from you today. Take care.
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You always put a smile on my face! 🙂
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Thank you so much, I’m pleased. Hubby and I set ourselves a target of making at least one person smile every day.
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It was a wide grin so that’s mission accomplished for you both for 2 days at least!
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Bless you. Just doing a post on smiles!
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Hugs and Prayers!
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Thank you! It was one of those spur of the moment kinda posts. One song triggered it all. Really appreciate your message! xx
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Hugs and prayers Muna, the loss of a parent or loved one is indeed heart-breaking. I pray that Allah gives you strength during these trying times. Sending lots of love 💕🙏🏼
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Thank you Sheema! Ameen to your duaa and much love for your support! xx
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❤️
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This is such a good post. I had all those experiences in the first few months. From experience the one thing I do as well is wait several months and then send a card/or call to say I’m thinking of them. To often people seem to think you get over grief after a few months. But often it’s when the cards and calls and hugs stop that it really kicks in.
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Thank you so much! Your words hit home which is why I always say you need to have experienced grief to understand the pain of someone else going through it. You understood the pain. If only people knew it wasn’t a case of a few months but rather a life time.
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I can so relate to what you have written. It is spot on and a must read. We all need these reminders of being caring for those going through a grief. Thank you for sharing
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Thank you Saadia! Yes, reminders are always good in our busy lives these days 🙂
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Yes to all of this! Grief is a crazy, illogical roller coaster. One minute, you’re coping reasonably well, the next moment, you’re an irrational basket. Add in conversations with well-meaning individuals, and it can be enough to push a person straight into the deep end. Hope you’re doing well and hanging in there. Big hugs to you. ❤
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Hey, we’re in the same boat so you know how it is. But hanging in there. Wish the same for you! xx
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So very sorry for your loss. Well said.
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Thank you!
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I am truly so sorry about your father. I can only imagine the heartache of losing a parent. Loss is unique to that person and it can be hard to know what to say to those grieving sometimes, so I think your tips, borne from your own experience, are perfect.xx
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Thank you! It’s a difficult road ahead but am thankful for all the happy memories. They certainly help in moving forward.
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sorry to here about death
hugs and prayers
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Thank you! xx
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Excellent! The nicest thing someone said to me….she started to say “how are you doing?” But she stopped herself and said “that’s silly, I know how you’re doing but I’m so glad to see you!”
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Awww at least she realised and corrected herself. Otherwise, some people can say the most cringe-worthy things at such times.
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